break it to me gently

12 January 2010

It was Christmas when I last saw her, nearly one month ago, i told her "you lose weight," every time we see each other our usual greeting is about our weight "oy tumaba ka or oy payat ka na" things like that. Though thin, I noticed the size of her belly is a bit big for her current weight. I felt something is not right. I overheard her, my brother and my sister in law talking about her sickness and the mysterious lumps that all of a sudden grow on her shoulder and head, i joined them, she was complaining about abdominal and lower back pain, we told her to consult another doctor (actually we coerced her) for a complete check up since despite the negative result of her ultrasound she still experiencing pains. And the lump is so alarming.

Came new year and the pain is no longer bearable they brought her here in manila last week and she submitted to several tests like MRI, CT Scan, etc. Waiting for the test results is like eternity, first, the ultrasound revealed that her pancreas is swollen and they found lumps on her ovaries and chest and took tissues for biopsy. The big day came (which is today) when the doctor broke the news, yes she has a cancer ( bone cancer) and it's on stage 4, the doctors can no longer tell where did it starts since the cancer spreads to several parts of the body. According to my cousin, her husband, the doctor says they cannot do anything about it (hands up) but our faith doesn't want to give up, i know it will be hard for my cousin and the rest of our family, it came to us as a shock, it was too fast, she is complaining pains since September but at that time it is still tolerable, she had ultrasound and the result is negative so she ignores it, came november and december when the pain becomes severe and she cannot sit for too long.

We dont know how to deal with it yet, the only thing we can do now is to accept it, pray for her and be there for her. I didn't visit her in the hospital since she was admitted, i can't face her without breaking down, Im too transparent, the least we can do is to be brave for her and i dont want her to see me crying.

I pray for her and for other people who are in the same predicament.



Welcome 2010- I hope ...

05 January 2010

I was'nt able to greet you a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous new year, but it's better late than never, I hope you all had a wonderful holiday.

I have noticed that I only have 31 posts for 2009 compare to 98 from last year considering that I started mid of 2008, my life really turned upside down, last year i been boasting about my privilege of buying my own time, now I hope I can buy time, saan na bibili? Well, the famous saying " ang buhay ay weather weather lang" is indeed true.

I'm thankful to God for all the blessings, for the work even if it brought so much stress to me. I hope i can spend more time with you, read your blogs like i did before, i hope i can manage my time enough to visit you everyday.

I am hopeful that this year will be a lot better for all of us especially for our country.

I hope i can update my blog often, im looking forward to my Bangkok trip next week, I have something to tell you when I get back.

Happy new year everyone, keep the faith and be safe. God Bless you all.

12 January 2010

break it to me gently

It was Christmas when I last saw her, nearly one month ago, i told her "you lose weight," every time we see each other our usual greeting is about our weight "oy tumaba ka or oy payat ka na" things like that. Though thin, I noticed the size of her belly is a bit big for her current weight. I felt something is not right. I overheard her, my brother and my sister in law talking about her sickness and the mysterious lumps that all of a sudden grow on her shoulder and head, i joined them, she was complaining about abdominal and lower back pain, we told her to consult another doctor (actually we coerced her) for a complete check up since despite the negative result of her ultrasound she still experiencing pains. And the lump is so alarming.

Came new year and the pain is no longer bearable they brought her here in manila last week and she submitted to several tests like MRI, CT Scan, etc. Waiting for the test results is like eternity, first, the ultrasound revealed that her pancreas is swollen and they found lumps on her ovaries and chest and took tissues for biopsy. The big day came (which is today) when the doctor broke the news, yes she has a cancer ( bone cancer) and it's on stage 4, the doctors can no longer tell where did it starts since the cancer spreads to several parts of the body. According to my cousin, her husband, the doctor says they cannot do anything about it (hands up) but our faith doesn't want to give up, i know it will be hard for my cousin and the rest of our family, it came to us as a shock, it was too fast, she is complaining pains since September but at that time it is still tolerable, she had ultrasound and the result is negative so she ignores it, came november and december when the pain becomes severe and she cannot sit for too long.

We dont know how to deal with it yet, the only thing we can do now is to accept it, pray for her and be there for her. I didn't visit her in the hospital since she was admitted, i can't face her without breaking down, Im too transparent, the least we can do is to be brave for her and i dont want her to see me crying.

I pray for her and for other people who are in the same predicament.



05 January 2010

Welcome 2010- I hope ...

I was'nt able to greet you a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous new year, but it's better late than never, I hope you all had a wonderful holiday.

I have noticed that I only have 31 posts for 2009 compare to 98 from last year considering that I started mid of 2008, my life really turned upside down, last year i been boasting about my privilege of buying my own time, now I hope I can buy time, saan na bibili? Well, the famous saying " ang buhay ay weather weather lang" is indeed true.

I'm thankful to God for all the blessings, for the work even if it brought so much stress to me. I hope i can spend more time with you, read your blogs like i did before, i hope i can manage my time enough to visit you everyday.

I am hopeful that this year will be a lot better for all of us especially for our country.

I hope i can update my blog often, im looking forward to my Bangkok trip next week, I have something to tell you when I get back.

Happy new year everyone, keep the faith and be safe. God Bless you all.